woman

you're a woman, a mother and you're married
from the very beginning you should have known
your responsibility

you're a woman and you think you're a decent one
you have kids, you have a husband
never appear in your little head that you're a lucky a woman
not every woman's given right to bear children and has a faithful husband
but you destroy their pure dream,their lovely world
you're a woman and I don't think you deserve what you've got

I hate you woman, you who vowed at your wedding day that
you'd be a source of happiness for your family
then at the middle of journey you fled away just because a little stony path,
left behind the clear eyes, small heads needed affectionate touches, their mother's hand
I hate you woman, I hate every woman who left their children for the sake of themselves

you never know you bring hurricane to your kids, every day, every night
have you ever imagined...I don't think you are
to whom they should address 'why the sea's blue, why the moon just appear at night, where the sun goes, who creates the rainbow....'
I loathe the very part of you,
I despise you,

After like ten years,I found this draft. Quite a heart pour!

bahagia tiba2,senyum dikulum, earphone dari pagi nempel di telinga
yeah seems nothing matter now.what probably the cause..so carefree, no life burden at all
one thing..i can't forget one thing..Allah blesses me this so I may not go overboard. too early to conclude everything coz tomorrow it will change again
just remember as today you experienced gladness and you're excited about it, don't overflow yourself with pity when the times goes wrong way...life has its own path, for me it fluctuates wildly, no...it's as calm as pacific but should i afraid of it, or does sunshine means new hopes. as always, i am bewildered about everything but it's ok
na...na..na..na...flowers, birds, snows, but i am uncomfortable with sunset.why?
it's the sign of the ending of life maybe....loneliness somewhere...sometimes. don't know how to describe it, the horizon seems so far, the colours're just fantastics yet terrifying...should not feel dislike that eh, yeah it's one of god's creatures...should be thankful being able to glance at it emotionally.

life's just the way you think it is...yeah..couldn't be more agree. but humans like me sometimes a blur spot spilled on ocean............lost without any guiding star. but yeah Allah is my guide...
i can't just write whatever comes to mind, since everybody is responsible for their own wrong doings. I know my faith will save me even there are thousands life volcanoes explode at the same time.
should tell something useful, uh. but you avoid being called pious. what's wrong with it? doesn't our prophet advised us to speak kindly to our brothers and sisters? ah...everyone knows it, just hard when it comes to practise...

na..na...na...........(when the sadness comes from nowhere, don't let yourself be stepped on for too long,,,get it? still in nijmegen

nafas sepi

jangan merasa kau ditinggalkan karna memang kau yang tidak mau ikut
jangan menganggap tidak ada yang menyayangi karna kau buat yg lain takut mendekatimu
jangan iri dan dengki karna kau hampir memiliki semua
jangan merasa bersalah karna kesalahan fitrah manusia
jangan merasa bodoh karna hanya saja kau belum memahami
jangan menangis karna yang berhak ditangisi hanyalah yang berharga
jangan bersedih karna ia kan membuat tubuhmu ringkih
jangan suka berkhayal karna hidup ini sudah diabad ke 21
jangan ...ah,
sebenarnya bukan itu yang mau aku tulis........
aku ingin mengatakan aku ingin kalian bahagia, bahagia saja tanpa embel2 yang lain
tidak bisakah kau melihat, hidup yang telah kau lewati bukannya singkat
berhakkah aku mengingatkan mu, sementara pahit manisnya jalan setapak kau yang lebih tau
bolehkah aku tanya,kenapa?
tidak bisakah mata hatimu melampau ruang waktu melihat ada kebaikan disebelah kananmu bukan yang diarah yang kau tuju.
saudaraku,harapanku kau bahagia dengan pendamping mu yang mengerti bahwa kesucian dan kebahagiaan keluarga balasannya syurga
tidakkah wujud nyata kesengsaraan itu ada didepanmu persis mematung tidak mau beranjak
haruskah dia menyapamu hingga kau terperanjat dari lamunmu tapi segalanya telah terlambat
kasiannya kalau kau salah memilih,
betapa sia2nya tuhan menganugerahi kelebihan itu kalo kau tak menggunakannya..
aku menunggu keputusanmu
kabari aku tentang keindahan itu
kalo tidak kebahagiaan ku masih jauh,aku sudah hampir lelah...jangan tambah kekalemanku
karna rasa kekurangan dari sari kerenyahan hidup
berpikir tentang kalian
jangan menyerah, karna pedasnya ribuan rawit telah kita padamkan
jangan tumpahkan air ketabahan
jangan mengeluh, ianya membuatmu semakin lusuh
harapanku sinar terang pemberian tuhan kan sempat kuarahkan menatap
senyum ikhlas ketenangan,pancaran iman di wajah2 rumah terakhir di jalan keberkahan.

I'm from nowhere but heart

I am from a woman who could stand the wind, won the heat and
conquered the cold.
I am from silent untouched unpopular atmosphere,
From the stone road, wood house, still air and virgin society
I am from rice, boiled bananas, fresh fish water, wild mushrooms
I am from suffering, poverty, struggling life
I am from "never force someone to do what they don't want to"
From 'let struggle to be free,
From 'getting back our right'
I am from farmers, hunters and sailors.
I am from witnessing our families, villagers not guilty taken away
by our side.
I am from cows, buffaloes, goats, chicken, ducks, birds, deers.
I am from the sorrow sweetness
From what they call 'uneducated' nice people
My own is the happy smile of my mom, holding her hands at the last time.

friendsip

Friendship means everything for everybody,if we have friends we can share our ideas,feeling, and anxiety.This helps us much to release our everyday tension. True friend will come when we all the world leave us, with their sincerity they will be able to calm down us.And a true friend is not a perfect one, she/he also has weaknesses because they are just human.So, we need to understand each other. A true friend is not the one who always say 'yes' for what we've done, they are willing to show our mistakes. A true friend will never compete with their friends, they will just share everything they can give and that's a true friendship.
Through friendship we can win the world, how peaceful it would be when we smile to each other,we all deserve to be respected. Friendship is one thing but everything. Because you, friendship, we can stand this world and step our paces everywhere and we know that you will always be there for us and everyone throughout the world.